Home Visits

Before leaving for the trip I decided to read the book 28 Stories of AIDS in Africa to try and prepare for the trip and what we might experience. As I read through the book this summer, I remember becoming overwhelmed with grief and heartbreak by some of the stories. I decided to limit the number of stories I read each day so as not to become too overwhelmed. I didn’t realize that I would have the opportunity through home visits to hear stories firsthand from people struggling with this disease. My heart as well as many others’ were not prepared or big enough to take in their stories.

Home visits consist of us being invited to a person’s home, listening to their story, praying, and catching a closer glimpse of what life is like for Kenyans. We were able to do home visits in Bissil, Machakos, and Ongata Rongai, the neighborhood Beacon serves. By far the most difficult were the home visits in Ongata Rongai as we were privileged to listen to their stories of how they came to know Beacon.

The first woman we met, Phyllis, is a beautiful yet frail grandmother and caregiver of 3. She recently lost her daughter to illness and now needs to provide for her grandchildren. Phyllis is sick. Before she started getting services from Beacon she was bedridden and did not have any strength to walk or care for herself. Through treatment she has regained some of her strength, yet she is still very weak. She asked us to pray for strength and a means to good nutrition so I will ask you to do the same.

The most amazing thing about Phyllis was her gratitude and faith. She said she is so thankful for what God has already done in her life. From our viewpoint we wonder where God is in her situation. What has he done? Why did she have to lose her daughter? Why is she so weak and without good nutrition? After this visit I felt overwhelmed. I felt sick by how well I eat and the great health I have had so far. None of it seems right and none of it seems just. So, I don’t really know what to do with it. But we are praying to be changed and bring change.

Then we walked to meet Julianna and her beautiful 9 month old daughter Lynette Lucy. As we came into Julianna’s home, I felt good and thought that maybe this next home visit would go better/be easier since she seemed to have nicer furniture and a larger living space. I really could not have been more wrong. Julianna has one other daughter, a 12 year old. She has had 5 miscarriages and Lynette Lucy truly is a miracle. A couple of months ago her husband and her got tested for HIV. She was positive, her husband was negative. He left her and told her that if she ever tries to visit his family that she will be beaten. The past few months Julianna has been living in a state of despair and depression, having thoughts to kill herself and her children so they do not have to go through the struggles she has. I could see the pain and sadness in her face. It looks much like depression I have seen in the United States, but what kind of treatment is here for her? Not that much. Grace, the woman leading our home visits, helped to save Julianna’s life by intervening and asking her not to kill herself.

I really hope you will pray for Julianna. Pray for her to feel God’s grace and be free from any guilt she may have. Pray for her to be free from this depression and despair so that she can see that her life is worth living. Pray that something can be there in her life to give her hope. Also, pray for reconciliation between her and her husband. Pray for a means for her to care for her family and herself.

After this home visit I felt broken. Two in person stories of AIDS in Africa is not the same as a book read in the states. When I think back to this, I really just want to cry and fall to my knees begging God for healing for this woman. At our debriefing session, we learned that Maggie found great joy in Julianna as she was a woman she helped have her baby. Maggie was pretty sure that Julianna was going to have another miscarriage, and yet this beautiful woman was carrying a baby on her back at the clinic.

I still am not sure what to do with these experiences and the feelings produced, but it probably needs to be something. Right now all I know I can do is pray and really that is most of what God asks us to do.

-Erin